Reframing Your Fear Of Approaching

You go to a meat-market club, with alcohol, with social proof, with a wing, with indirect material, etc, etc, etc. You take on all these external elements to fight against an internal state of fear. You know the fear is irrational and there is no real threat to your life or health but there it is anyway...like a fear of public speaking...it's a fear of social ridicule.

Now what if we take other people away and it's just you and you come across the girl on a deserted island? Would you still fear anxiety approaching her and declaring your interest? Yes. Because it's ultimately about what she thinks of you...that's what you're really afraid of..."what if she doesn't like me?"

This fear of approaching a girl and confidently declaring your interest is almost universal. The ironic thing is many, many attractive girls out there really respond well to this honest, brave approach...so you can separate yourself from the masses of weaklings out there and really make an impression within seconds just by conquering or reframing this fear.

Definitely worth it and logically you know this to be true. You also know that experience will make this easier so you've got to get on top of this fear and not let it control you and you've got to do this often enough that it eventually becomes tame...insignificant...irrelevant.


*Reframing your Fear*

Ok...here's some ideas that work for me...maybe they'll help you and others who are not yet at the point where they've eliminated this ridiculous damaging belief system.

1. Enjoy the Buzz...convince yourself that you LOVE those funny feelings in your stomach...get ADDICTED to that feeling and seek it out. It makes you feel alive...like taking a roller coaster ride anytime and anywhere you go.

2. Fear moves the Feet...convince yourself that the fear of approaching means that you MUST approach and say something. You're a robot. Turn off your mind. The second you feel fear your feet start moving in the direction of your target. There is no thought between the initial feeling and the movement of your feet. One simply causes the other. Period.

3. She's Self-Conscious...all women are really. Instead of thinking about yourself, think about HER thinking about HERSELF. Think of her internal dialogue being "fuck...this guy is coming over and my hair looks like shit!" "oh my god, I wish I was wearing something nicer" "i hope i don't say something stupid" and then come back into your mind and you're thinking "relax sweetheart...don't be nervous...you look great...I'll forgive any little mistakes you make"

4. Play a suave character...you're james bond, you're brad pitt, you're colin farrell, whatever. You're being filmed. None of this is actually real but you're a damn fine actor...you're the hero, she's the female lead and you're going to improvise a scene with her where the two of you meet for the first time and you charm her pants off.

Hope some of these help you get over that "hump". These are like training wheels...once you get positive feedback enough times, that will be enough to convince you how totally ridiculous this fear is and it will just vanish in a puff of logic.